


A Spark of Inspiration

by snapesgirl62



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Crack, Fluff, Gen, Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 01:23:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapesgirl62/pseuds/snapesgirl62
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How House Sparklypoo got its House Ghost</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Spark of Inspiration

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Hogwarts Houses on Live Journal  
>  **House Category** : Sparklypoo
> 
> **Beta Readers** : and   
>  AU, Crack, Fluff, Strong Language 
> 
>  
> 
> **Disclaimer** : This piece is based on characters and situations created by J. K. Rowling, and owned by J. K. Rowling and various publishers, including but not limited to: Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. Brian Slade, and Velvet Goldmine belong to Todd Haynes, and Miramax Films. No money is being made from and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended by the posting of this fic.

_Mists swirled, and voices drifted in them. From the sounds of the conversation, four people were having a meeting._

_"I believe this is a bad idea."_

_"You thought bringing in mixed bloods and Muggle born children to be bad ideas._

_"Exactly, see what it has led to. The symmetry of four Houses has been disturbed. We should not allow further disruption to occur."_

_"They should have a House Ghost, and a Head of House."_

_"Whatever for, Helga?"_

_"To give them a warm welcome and guidance while they are at Hogwarts."_

_"You seem to have forgotten they come to our school from other countries already knowing all there is to know about magic."_

_"Was that sarcasm, Rowena? I'm from The Marches, we don't use sarcasm there. You have to tell me when you are using it."_

_"Do not try to prevaricate, Godric, it doesn't suit you."_

_"Salazar, cease being a stick in the mud. They had to make a House for them. It is now up to us to help them."_

_"Four Founders. Four Houses. Twas bad enough you lot polluted the castle with Mudbloods and Half bloods."_

_"Their first Head of House shall be one of yours."_

_"No, you leave my descendents out of this. It would be better if you used one of his poncy shirt lifters. What are they calling themselves? Marauders?"_

_"Done and done." The pronouncement was followed by a shifting of reality._

_"Helga, what did you just do?"_

_"I set events in motion to give the poor darlings their own ghost and a Head of House."_

_"Salazar, where are you off to?"_

_"Someplace cold. Where men are men and pureblood is appreciated. I wash my hands of this fiasco."_

*****

**September 1, 1971**

The group of first years were huddled together in the middle of the Great Hall. As in years past, when their names were called, each one stepped forward and took a seat on a low stool. When the Sorting Hat placed them into their Houses, the announcements were greeted with polite applause. This year there were two major exceptions to this general rule.

Black, Sirius being sent into Gryffindor set off a maelstrom of protests which had to be shouted down.

"Lestrange, Rabastan." McGonagall read from the parchment in her hands.

This boy calmly strode forward with all the assurance of one who knew his place in the world. He was of the Wizarding elite. His family were related in varying degrees to the Malfoy, Black, and Rosier clans. There was also a rumoured, albeit very distant, connection to Salazar Slytherin himself.

Rabastan took his seat on the stool and held still. The Sorting Hat was barely placed on his head when it roared out; "Sparklypoo."

The Great Hall became as quiet as the proverbial tomb.

He remained on the stool with a shocked expression on his face. He didn't realize the hat had been removed. McGonagall gently cupped his right elbow to help him stand. She patted him on the back before nodding at a small table placed between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw.

Bast choked down protests and screams of outrage. According to the Lestrange Family Code of Conduct ™, one never made a public scene. His thoughts whirled around like a kneazle on catnip or a crup chasing its tails. He numbly sat on a bench and risked looking at his Housemates. They were mostly female. Some of them were mixtures of human and magical creatures.

_There must be a mistake. Can a hat become senile? Who did I offend? Dear Salazar, please tell me what I did to become a cautionary tale for future pureblood children._

There was no answer to his silent prayer.

"Do you like chocolate frogs?" The speaker was an older girl with impossibly bright pink and purple hair.

"Why do you ask?" Rabastan decided caution should be his watchword with these people.

"I have over a dozen of them and am willing to share with you. All you need to do is introduce me to your brother." She leaned forward and tried to run a striped finger nail down his cheek.

He leaned back out of her reach. Bast gave her The Glare. "First off, while I am eleven years old, I am neither an imbecile nor gullible. Second, I've seen better attempts at manipulation from my three year old cousin. Finally, Roddy is over there at the Slytherin table, go introduce yourself."

She turned away with a sniff.

The Sorting continued until Yaxley, Amber was placed in Ravenclaw. Bast was grateful to have the feast appear. He was hungry, and even if he'd been mis-sorted, he needed to keep his strength up.

After the feast was over, Headmaster Dumbledore stood up, and gave a speech. His robes and eyes twinkled in such a manner as to convince Bast he was looking upon his Head of House, and that thought turned Bast's meal into a hard lump in his stomach.

Rabastan looked over at his brother and cousins. They were looking at him with sorrow and sympathy. It made him feel as if he had died. In a manner of speaking, he probably had. Any contact with those who he knew and loved was going to be seriously limited because he was in the wrong House. He put his head on his arms and sighed.

"First years, come along. Join up near me." Several voices called out.

"Lestrange, get up. It's time to go to our dorm."

He stood and reluctantly followed the small group out of the Great Hall, down a corridor, and up stairs. Bits of information about the castle drifted to him from the House prefect. Most of the words bounced around without registering.

Their common room was hidden behind a painting of a meadow filled with unicorns.

_Naturally there would be unicorns. I wonder where the rainbows are?_

He entered the room and received an answer to that question. The décor was rainbow hued and garish in the extreme. Bast rolled his eyes at confirmation of Dumbledore being his new Head of House.

"Boys' dorm is over here. Since there are always few of us, we bunk together." The Prefect led him into a room with four beds. "Lestrange, you get that bed in the corner."

"Yes, your majesty." Bast placed his right hand over his heart and bowed with grace and sarcasm.

"Mind your manners."

"I was being polite." He looked at his trunk, looked at the bed, and contemplated running down to Hogsmeade, getting back on the Express and going home. Private lessons from his parents had never had such a strong appeal.

The males proceeded to get ready for bed. They were relatively quiet. Bast thought it might be because he was the only first year male. The others looked to be sixteen, fourteen, or thirteen and maybe a year older than him.

"Who is our House Ghost?" Bast had to break the silence.

The other males froze and stared at him as if he had requested a virgin to sacrifice.

"Obviously he's not read Hogwarts: A History."

"We do not have a ghost. You should know that."

"Right, sorry for thinking that may have changed over the summer holiday." Bast considered hexing the others. He counted to ten in Greek, then in Latin. His mood didn't improve. Getting into bed, he recalled more of the Lestrange Code of Conduct ™. Keep calm, maintain good manners, be civil, and eventually eviscerate those who oppose him. The trick was knowing when he could rip that supercilious twat to pieces.

Morning came, and Bast moaned at this not being a bad dream. He moved at an almost glacial pace while getting dressed. The rose and lavender coloured tie was bad. The House badge was worse. Letters of protest needed to be sent. First Bast would have breakfast, then he'd attend lessons, and then he would write to his parents, his uncles and maybe even to Grandmamma about this miscarriage of justice or whatever it was.

Mail arrived while the students were eating breakfast. Five letters were dropped on Rabastan. He was not surprised to discover they all contained the deepest sympathy on his being placed in "such an intolerable situation".

Chatter was interrupted by the arrival of a Howler at the Gryffindor table. Bast recognized his aunt Walburga's dulcet tones. It was impossible not to smirk while listening to her verbally flay her elder son. The voice softened.

"Rabastan, we heard of your misfortune. Try to be of good cheer. Members of the family will be meeting with the Board of Governors today."

He put his head down and began to knock it against the table. So much for not drawing undue attention. Bast pulled out his ink, and quill and set to scribbling replies at the bottom of the letters from home. He demanded his parents send him a time turner so that he could go back and fix what ever it was he did wrong. To uncle Abraxas, he sent a request for a dozen laudanum lollies. Those might be useful in escaping from his dorm at night. Finally, he asked cousin Auggie to send a case of dung bombs.

Bast was going to protest in his own special way. His would not be using civil disobedience. Instead, he would be using Lestrange disobedience. The more people he could frame for his misdeeds, the better.

"Here are your class schedules." The speaker was short, almost goblin sized.

"Thank you, sir." Rabastan nodded to the person.

"I am Professor Flitwick. I teach Charms here and am Head of House for Ravenclaw. Professor Sprout and myself act as Head of House for Sparklypoo."

"I already know all about Charms," one of the girls at the table said, before Bast could reply to the professor.

Rabastan rolled his eyes and turned to look at the simpering vision across from him. He closed his eyes, opened them and immediately looked down. She was glowing. Bast concentrated on a simple _Finite_. Her glow disappeared. His day marginally improved. Perhaps he could manage to take over this House and run things his way.

According to his schedule, he needed to be at Potions. Since there were so few in Sparklypoo, students from that House were taking lessons with Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff.

Bast gathered his things and swept out of the Great Hall. He looked for his brother, not seeing Roddy was a disappointment. Making his ways to the stairs, Rabastan stopped. In theory, he knew where to go, in reality, he was not positive of where in the dungeons the Potions class would be held.

"Aw, what an adorable ickle firstie. Are you lost, cousin?" Bellatrix and Narcissa bracketed him.

"This is all your fault, Bella." He tapped at the House crest on his uniform. "You cast some spell so that the Hat sorted me wrong."

"Rabastan, while my sister likes her pranks, she is not capable of casting a spell strong enough to do what you accuse her of. The instructors would have known right away and corrected the error."

"Narcissa is right." Bella took his schedule and read it. "I can show you the way to your first lesson. Say see you later, 'Cissa."

Her sister's reply was soft spoken and in words that were anything but ladylike. Bast had doubts the suggested act would be physically possible. If Bella could do it, he certainly wanted to watch.

Bella flashed Narcissa two fingers before leading Rabastan into the dungeons.

"Where's Roddy?"

"Your brother and cousin Lucius are arguing with the Headmaster. Rodolphus kept going on about how bright you are. We were positive you were going to be in Ravenclaw if not in Slytherin."

"Me too." He sighed. "Why is 'Cissa mad at you?"

"She isn't. Neither one of us is a morning person. It makes us catty. Better to take it out on an opponent who understands than on someone who'll take points."

"Do you think Father and Uncle Abraxas can fix this?" Rabastan fiddled with his tie.

"Once you are Sorted, you remain in that House. No one has ever been Re-sorted." Bella stopped in front of a door. "Maybe this has something to do with how your magic first manifested."

"Sorry, no unicorn farts or rainbows in my past. There are certainly a lot of them in my future."

"On the bright side, you are taking lessons with Ravenclaw." Bella gave his shoulder a squeeze before leaving him.

***

Days turned into weeks, weeks, into months. Rabastan tried to fit in. He found it next to impossible to tolerate his dorm mates. The other boys had led very sheltered lives filled with scholarship and being coddled. If possible, the girls were worse. Being a predator in a herd of prey was boring. They were too easy to prank.

One bright part of his existence was being around Ravenclaw students. At least they had a healthy sense of humour, understood cynicism, and were more of a challenge to set up for a fall.

He took to wandering the corridors and learning the secret passages in the castle. Being out late was one of his great pleasures. Bast found he needed someone to bond with, but that person had to share his sense of humour.

"Looky, looky, a firstie out after hours." Peeves the Poltergeist cackled.

"Peeves, my man. You were just the being I was looking for. It has come to my attention you are woefully misunderstood. The other ghosts do not nearly appreciate you to the level which you deserve." Bast pulled out a dung bomb and casually tossed it up in the air then caught it. "I have in my possession several toys which I believe you are the only one capable of seeing used in a proper and fitting manner."

The ghost licked his lips. "Whom do I need to dump a bucket of water on?"

"You needn't do anything like that if you do not want to. What I am willing to offer is an unlimited supply of these beauties. All you need to do is agree to be the House Ghost for Sparklypoo."

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Think of it, you could share your wisdom with those who are less fortunate. There are students in need of your special guidance and support." Bast smirked. If the ugly little thing accepted his offer, the school would never be the same.

"I accept." Peeves swooped down and snagged the dung bomb. He flew off cackling like a mad thing.

Bast returned to his dorm secure in the knowledge that disruption was going to become a way of life at Hogwarts. Next on his agenda was a name change. He saw no reason for his family to continue to carry the burden of a son in Sparklypoo. Rabastan thought Brian Slade had a nice ring to it.

[Art Goes Here]

**Meanwhile, back in the Mists**

_"Peeves? That little demon chose Peeves? How dare he!"_

_"Easy, Helga, you are going to hurt yourself."_

_"I'm going to hurt someone, all right, and it won't be myself."_

_"What is wrong with badger lady?"_

_"Your serpent is what is wrong. He should have selected a pretty ghost, a calm ghost, one who is skilled at diplomacy. Instead that spoiled son of a snake talked a bloody poltergeist into being the Sparklypoo ghost."_

_This provoked gales of masculine laughter._

_"Salazar, if you like where your gonads are, I think you need to be less amused."_

_"For shame, Godric, where is your vaunted courage?"_

_"Right next to my sense of self preservation."_

_"How dare you…you…MEN ruin my plans!"_

_"What do you recommend?"_

_There was a crack of disapparation._

_"Come back here you cowardly Lion, and bring that slimy snake with you."_

*****

**September 1, 1991**

Professor Brian Slade, Head of House Sparklypoo, was half slumped in his seat at the Head Table. He leaned to his left, the better to exchange comments with his long time friend Rolanda Hooch.

This year's batch of new students entered the Great Hall. Their awe at their surroundings was visible. One of them noticed the male with turquoise hair in silver and royal blue and asked the person next to her if he was a rock star.

Brian heard that comment and smirked. He tapped one of his silver-shod feet in time to a tune only he could hear, earning him an unobtrusive pinch from Rolanda.

Minerva explained how the Sorting was done. One of the little darlings stepped forward.

"Excuse me, I should go first, I know everything there is to know about Hogwarts and magic."

"Isn't she precious?" Brian whispered to Rolanda.

"I like how her orange hair practically glows."

"She is glowing darling. It's one of their main tells." He slid two knuts over to Rolanda.

"What are those for?"

"Give her one of Filch's mops for the first flying lesson. A bit of humility is a good thing." They watched the young witch be sent over to a small table in between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff.

"No charge. Besides, Severus will be giving her plenty of lessons in humility."

"That bastard took my place in Slytherin."

"Now, Brian, you know he's not pretty enough to have been Sorted into Sparklypoo."

Bast sighed and rolled his eyes. He nodded his head in agreement before settling in to watch the rest of the Sorting. Tonight he needed to give a welcome speech to the newest member of his House. Tomorrow would be a long day; he had a full schedule teaching Ancient Runes. Maybe this year, Slytherin would not win the House cup. One could only hope for a combined Ravenclaw/Sparklypoo victory.


End file.
